So ok i probably shouldn’t call them crap but in hindsight, if i’m honest, they are. I don’t really recognise the person who wrote them as my thoughts and opinions have developed as i’ve aged and experienced new things. At the time those posts encapsulated something about me, something i must have felt, but my life is rather busy and everything can change on a momentary basis. An idea i had five minutes ago might seem, actually, out of character an hour later. I’m constantly getting new ideas, i love trying new things, but something i get excited about in a minute can faze out pretty quickly. Don’t get me wrong my personality and hobbies haven’t really changed that much over the years but i don’t think my blog is a true representation of me, or how i live my life. Part of that is because i’ve chosen to keep most of the personal elements private, and i feel strongly about continuing that, but also because my inspiration to write blog posts come from random thoughts i have in a day. I get a lot of ideas though, some great, some that should be immediately forgotten. If one particularly excites me in a moment i’ll quickly scribble some words down in a note on my phone and copy and paste it on here when i have a moment. The way i blog then means my posts are often outdated before i press publish.
Some of my ‘favourites’ and ‘goals’ posts in particular make me feel like a fraud when i reread them. At the time they were exactly what i felt and intended, but life develops so fast that you develop your tastes and surpass your expectations. My ‘goals’ i set in December have been overturned and exceeded a million times over in just a few months. It’s funny how life works but i guess it’s also funny how blogging works. You post about an interest or a momentary feeling but what do you do if that changes? Keep the post and pretend to your readers you still know who that person is, or continually keep a finger on the delete button. Some posts will always hold some relevance, the memories recorded, the events i did, but opinions and interests are forever changing and adapting. Again i’m scrolling through some of my old posts and the ‘routine’ blogs crop up – that’s not the same anymore and it seems alien to me now.
I think the point i’m making is you can’t believe everything you see/read on the internet. Life’s weird and time changes everything.